All hail the 'Kong'ering hero of this kolossally exciting new klassic

December 12, 2005 - 11:40am

KING KONG The year's best movie.Running time: 188 minutes. Rated PG-13 (frightening adventure, violence, scary images). Wednesday at the Empire, the Union Square, the Chelsea West, others.

BREAK out the popcorn and prepare to be blown away. "King Kong" is the most pulse- pounding and heart-stirring romantic adventure since "Titanic."

Peter Jackson's stupendous, supersized remake not only pays loving tribute to the 1933 classic, it elaborates on the "Beauty and the Beast" story in smart, awe-inspiring ways that will have audiences repeatedly bursting into applause - and reaching for their handkerchiefs as the big ape heads for his date with destiny on the Empire State Building

Surprisingly nimble for a three-hour epic with a $207 million budget, this "Kong" spends its first 20 minutes sketching a vivid panorama of Depression-era New York, where Al Jolson is heard singing "I'm Sitting on Top of the World" as people huddle in makeshift Hoovervilles in Central Park.

Ann Darrow - a perfectly cast Naomi Watts in an Oscar-worthy performance - has been cleverly reinvented as a vaudevillian who is first seen doing a Charlie Chaplin impression.

When the theater closes, Ann accepts a dubious offer from Carl Denham (a very funny Jack Black), an equally desperate director-producer who wants her to fill the just-vacated size-four costumes in his latest cinematic epic.

Carl has just stolen the negative of his uncompleted film from the studio and flees in a run-down tramp steamer with Ann and Jack Driscoll (Adrien Brody), who in this version is an earnest, Arthur Miller-like playwright Denham has literally shanghaied to finish the script.

In one of many nods to the 1933 classic, Bruce Cabot, the Driscoll of the original movie, is represented by the new character of Bruce Baxter (Kyle Chandler), a cowardly ham actor who recites some of the cornier dialogue from 1933 as part of Denham's movie-within-the-movie.

The cast members think they are headed for Shanghai, but Driscoll's actual destination is of course remote Skull Island, populated by hostile natives, herds of dinosaurs - and the 50-foot King Kong, who finally makes his appearance around the 70-minute mark.

It's love at first sight as Kong lays his grizzled eyes on Ann, the first blonde he has ever seen. And Ann, who wins the primate over by performing cartwheels, soon develops a soft spot for the big guy.

But these two face more obstacles than gay cowboys in "Brokeback Mountain," albeit of a far more spectacular variety.

Dodging a herd of dinosaurs - whose realistic movements make "Jurassic Park" look positively prehistoric - is just a prelude to one of the most jaw-dropping sequences in history as Kong defends Ann from three ferocious T-Rexes - at the same time all five of them are dangling on vines above a yawning chasm.

Kong is finally subdued and brought back to New York, presented by Denham with a stage show that incorporates the original un-P.C. depiction of Skull Island's natives, as well as swatches of Max Stein's famous original score.

In a clever twist on the original, Ann Darrow isn't present in the auditorium, which Kong literally begins tearing up in rage when he notices another blonde is substituting for her on stage.

Kong storms into a magnificently realized Times Square, where he picks up and hurls a succession of blondes to the pavement before finally meeting up with Ann for their doomed tete-a-tete at the Empire State Building - although in Jackson's version they have time to check out a frozen pond in Central Park in one of the movie's most beguiling moments.

Most great movies are lucky to have a handful of moments to remember; "King Kong" has at least two dozen.

Some will complain "King Kong" is too long and way over the top - but Jackson turns self-indulgence into a virtue in what amounts to a DVD extended cut that rivets your attention for three hours.

There is truthfully little chemistry between Watts and Brodie, who does quite respectably in his first role as mainstream action hero. But that's a very minor complaint; there is a hugely satisfying and credible relationship between the movie's key couple, thanks to superb emoting by Watts and the expressive, soulful Kong.

The latter is a computer-generated character based on a dexterous performance by Andy Serkis (Gollum in "The Lord of the Rings"), who also has a substantial supporting role as the ship's cook.

"King Kong" rules - in our hearts and surely, at the box office.

lou.lumenick@nypost.com