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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 4/21/2014, 9:29am  ET

B) Three Arlington County burglars who broke into an unmarked police car... With an officer still inside! The three men had been going up and down the street opening unlocked cars and stealing valuables. They've been busted for more than a dozen thefts.

C) A shirtless-shoeless Seattle man who crashed a kid's pizza party. While there he helped himself to a few slices of pizza and balloon animals. Police suspect the man was on a very potent relaxant.

Winner: B


July 8, 2013

A) A bride who sent a note to her friend chastising her for not giving a good enough gift. The woman said the hundred dollars wasn't enough to help cover the 200 bucks per person spent on the reception and that the friend should feel bad for not giving more.

B) A New Mexico man who robbed a store using a weed whacker. The man demanded for money from the cash register threatening to use the gardening tool as a weapon. He then ran from the scene without any cash.

C) A Pennsylvania man who made a phone call from a convenience store right before he robbed it. The 32-year-old called a woman, then snatched about $140 in change off the counter. Police hit the redial button on the phone and got the man's name when the woman answered the phone.

Winner: A


July 1, 2013

A) An immigration official in California who was busted for accepting a delicious bribe from immigrants seeking citizenship and green cards. In 2011 the woman accepted 200 egg rolls and cash to review the applications for benefits.

B) A couple from Connecticut who asked fellow coffee drinkers at Starbucks to name their baby boy. They put up signs asking other customers to help them choose between the names Logan and Jackson. The couple got the idea from the way Starbucks chooses its employee of the month.

C) A Michigan mom who robbed a bank, but was turned into police by her son. The woman had gone to the bank and handed the teller a note demanding 25 hundred dollars for her children and grandchildren. Her son saw surveillance photos and foiled the plot.

Winner: C


June 24, 2013

A) A group of Atlanta radio hosts who insulted a former NFL player who has Lou Gehrig's disease. One of them pretended to be 36-year-old ex-New Orleans Saints safety Steve Gleason, who lost his ability to speak and move because of ALS. They eventually apologized but all of them were fired.

B) A homeowner in Washington state who picked a fight with a city employee because a fire hydrant near his house was the wrong color. The homeowner painted the hydrant red and when a city water employee told him it had to be repainted to yellow, the homeowner pulled a gun on the guy. Police arrived and the homeowner was arrested.

C) A Pennsylvania teacher who allowed students to perform body piercings in class. One student pierced the teacher's ear and another student's stomach without parental consent. The teacher resigned in May and has been charged with endangering the welfare of children.

Winner: A


June 17, 2013

A) A British man who called police to report that the prostitute he hired was UGLY. The man said the woman violated the "sale of Goods Act" because she wasn't as pretty as she said she was. When cops told him HE was the one breaking the law, he insisted on talking to them in person.

B) A Maryland man who was arrested after posting on the Facebook page of the Queen Anne County Sheriff's Office that had a warrant out for him. The 33-year-old was on the County's Most Wanted list after skipping town. Police responded by thanking him for his post, and reminding him about his warrant. Some friends turned him in after seeing the exchange.

C) Some Anne Arundel County teens who took photos in a photo booth using a stolen credit card. A woman lost the card, and police tracked it to a theater where the teens first bought movie tickets, then the pictures. But they left the card and the pictures in the photo booth.

Winner: A


June 10, 2013

A) A former North Carolina postal carrier who has been convicted of fraud after appearing on "The Price is Right." She filed for worker's comp, claiming she couldn't lift mail trays into a truck because of a shoulder injury. But when she was on the gameshow, she was able to spin "the big wheel" twice. She was also caught zip-lining on vacation.

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