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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 9/15/2014, 9:17am  ET

B) An Iowa man who pulled a knife on his brother during a fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Police say he was angry because he believed his brother was eating too many sandwiches, so he attacked his brother.

C) A Virginia firefighter who stole a fire truck. The 27-year-old took the truck on a joyride -- and then wrecked it in Chesterfield. Police found the truck in a ditch and the firefighter is charged with grand larceny.

Winner: A

December 30, 2013

A) A South Carolina woman was so mad after her husband came home without a case of beer that she stabbed him with a ceramic squirrel. Police say a man came home beer-less because it was Christmas Eve and liquor stores were closed. The wife was charged with domestic violence.

B) A Norfolk, Virginia man REALLY wanted to work at McDonalds but when the store manager explained he could only apply for a position ONLINE, the man flashed his gun. The manager gave him an old paper application and called police. When they arrived, the applicant was still filling out paperwork. He was arrested.

C) A Florida man attempted to barter for beer with a four-foot alligator that he trapped in a local park. He was cited for illegally capturing the gator. When media showed up at the man's home for an interview, he demanded money and broke a photographers camera.

Winner: B

December 23, 2013

A) A Connecticut man who climbed a decorated Christmas tree -- to stage a protest. Noel Delgado climbed up the fully-lit tree in a park near Yale University. Police say he was carrying signs and yelling about various causes. Officers eventually convinced him to climb down.

B) A Florida woman who was caught stealing Christmas decorations off neighbors' lawns. Police say she drove around taking decorations from the yards and putting them in her car. They tracked her down after a friend posted a facebook picture online. She told police she thought the decorations were free. She was arrested.

C) A New Hampshire man who tried to spread holiday cheer but ended up SCARING children. The man dressed up as Santa and went over to a local school unannounced. He ran around, tapping on windows, and waving at students. Teachers decided to keep kids INSIDE for recess that day. But he said he didn't mean to scare anyone and police believed him.

Winner: B

December 16, 2013

A) A man who hid his pot as Christmas presents. During a traffic stop, Pennsylvania State Police say they found 20 pounds of marijuana wrapped as gifts inside his minivan. He's facing felony drug charges.

B) A New Mexico man who tried to dine and dash at a police fundraiser. The 22- year-old was bailing on his $30 bill but cops were waiting tables that night to raise money for charity. Needless to say, he got caught.

C) A Missouri woman who called the cops after a drug dealer sold her sugar instead of crack. The 47-year-old asked cops to get her a refund and arrest the dealer for theft. But they ended up arresting her for possession of drug paraphernalia.

Winner: C

December 2, 2013

A) A Colorado woman who was offering topless haircuts, but not for the reason you think. She was arrested for cutting hair without a license. The 46-year-old allegedly advertised the 45 dollar haircuts online.

B) A Florida man who robbed a bank, and then tried to get away on the bus. The 50-year-old took money from the bank, then went to a nearby gas station to change before waiting for a public bus. All the money was recovered.

C) A Washington man tried to make his way to West Seattle by stealing a ferry boat. The man allegedly locked himself in the pilot's cabin, but couldn't get the boat started. Police arrested him for grand theft of a vehicle.

Winner: C

November 25, 2013

A) A tiny town in Utah that forgot to hold its city elections. Part-time officials in Wallsburg didn't advertise or prepare for elections. This is the second time its happened. They also missed their election two years ago.

B) Colorado's healthcare exchange, which signed up Baxter the Yorkie for healthcare. Baxter's owner, Shane Smith, called to get insurance after his policy got canceled. When the insurance papers showed up, Smith found out it was his 14- year-old dog that now had healthcare, not him. The state fixed it, and Baxter no longer has human healthcare.

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