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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 4/14/2014, 9:41am  ET

B) A New Mexico man who tried to dine and dash at a police fundraiser. The 22- year-old was bailing on his $30 bill but cops were waiting tables that night to raise money for charity. Needless to say, he got caught.

C) A Missouri woman who called the cops after a drug dealer sold her sugar instead of crack. The 47-year-old asked cops to get her a refund and arrest the dealer for theft. But they ended up arresting her for possession of drug paraphernalia.

Winner: C


December 2, 2013

A) A Colorado woman who was offering topless haircuts, but not for the reason you think. She was arrested for cutting hair without a license. The 46-year-old allegedly advertised the 45 dollar haircuts online.

B) A Florida man who robbed a bank, and then tried to get away on the bus. The 50-year-old took money from the bank, then went to a nearby gas station to change before waiting for a public bus. All the money was recovered.

C) A Washington man tried to make his way to West Seattle by stealing a ferry boat. The man allegedly locked himself in the pilot's cabin, but couldn't get the boat started. Police arrested him for grand theft of a vehicle.

Winner: C


November 25, 2013

A) A tiny town in Utah that forgot to hold its city elections. Part-time officials in Wallsburg didn't advertise or prepare for elections. This is the second time its happened. They also missed their election two years ago.

B) Colorado's healthcare exchange, which signed up Baxter the Yorkie for healthcare. Baxter's owner, Shane Smith, called to get insurance after his policy got canceled. When the insurance papers showed up, Smith found out it was his 14- year-old dog that now had healthcare, not him. The state fixed it, and Baxter no longer has human healthcare.

C) An Illinois teen who couldn't afford her bus fare, so she maced the bus driver. The 17-year-old allegedly sprayed the driver after she couldn't pay for the ride. The driver later id-ed her, and she's being charged with aggravated battery.

Winner: C


November 18, 2013

A) A robot hunter from Florida. The man MEANT to kill a deer, but he was fooled by a police decoy and shot a robo-deer instead. Police emerged from nearby hiding spots and arrested him for shooting during closed season.

B) Another Florida man who impersonated a police officer in hopes of getting discounted donuts. The man flashed a gun and a badge at the Dunkin Donuts, telling the clerk "See? I am a cop!" Then the real deal came by and arrested him.

C) Yet another Florida man who got stuck in a chimney during an attempted robbery. Detectives say they saw a single foot hanging from the fireplace when they arrived. After two hours police got the rest of him down and charged him with burglary.

Winner: B


November 11, 2013

A) Toronto Mayor Rob Ford addressed the media last week, admitting to smoking crack. It's one of several scandals that has plagued his 3 year tenure. Ford refuses to resign and says he will run for reelection.

B) A Dallas man who ate a debit card to cover up evidence in an identity theft and income tax fraud investigation. When police arrested the man he had 300-thousand- dollars in cash as well as debit cards, including at least one that he tried to eat.

C) A woman who tried to wear a cheeseburger as a sandal after being caught having sex in the parking lot of a Georgia Waffle House. Officers say the couple was drunk and the woman's attempt to wear the sandwich just helped prove it.

Winner: A


November 4, 2013

A) Dancer Julianne Hough who dressed up in blackface as a part of her Halloween costume. The 25-year-old dressed up as "Crazy Eyes" from the show "Orange Is The New Black" and decided to paint her face black. She later apologized on Twitter for being offensive.

B) R&B superstar Chris Brown who was charged with breaking the nose of a man who tried to sneak into a picture with him outside of a DC hotel. Brown is already on probation for a 2009 attack on his then-girlfriend, Rihanna.

C) Singer Justin Bieber who showed his support for Chris Brown by tagging a wall in Bogota, Colombia. The 19-year-old wrote "Free Breezy" in spray paint on a wall. This was the same week that he was allegedly spotted leaving a brothel in Brazil.

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