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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 9/15/2014, 9:17am  ET

B) An upstate New York J-V football coach is in trouble for imitating a scene from "Remember the Titans." While on the way home from a loss, the coach made his players lie down on graves. He's been suspended for two weeks without pay.

C) This crook tried to rob the same New Jersey bank three times. First he got 22- hundred dollars, then 14-thousand dollars. The third time was NOT the charm. Police were waiting outside for him with surveillance photos from the first two robberies.

Winner: C

Sept. 26, 2011

A) Firefighters in Macon-Bibb County Georgia got more action than expected after a masked man burst into their Firehouse threatening them with a gun. Not only was it a bad prank, but fellow firefighters were in on it and taped the whole thing.

B)Two men in Rhode Island tried robbing the pizza delivery guy with a BB gun...only to find the delivery guy was carrying more than pizza, he also had a badge, and a gun - he was an undercover cop.

C)One woman thought she was getting a great deal on a new iPad, but when she got home she found that she had just paid $180 for a block of wood with an Apple logo painted on the back.


Sept. 19, 2011

a) A Florida man who drunkenly walked up to a Taco Bell drive-through window demanding food. After being denied service, the man called police to see if they could help him get his tacos. He was charged with misuse of the 911 system.

B) A Pennsylvania jewel thief who called the store he stole from, offering to help catch the criminal if given a reward. Police later followed a trail of sold stolen items back to the supposed good samaritan. He was arrested.

C) A Brazilian man who tried to smuggle pythons and turtle hatchlings in his pants past customs at Miami International Airport. Airport screeners noticed the strange bumps in the man's cargo pants. The smuggler was fined and given probation.


Sept. 12, 2011

A) A Mississippi man caught stealing from a grocery store after stuffing his shorts with shrimp, pork loin and live lobsters. The man threw the pork product at the grocer while attempting to get away. He was charged with shoplifting.

B) A person dressed in a life-size Gumby costume tried to rob a California convenience store, but was unsuccessful after the outfit's large green gloves slowed down the robber. Gumby jumped in a get away car after the fumbling attempt. No arrests have been made.

C) An Oregon Mayor who has been kicked out office for simply not showing up for work. The former mayor of Sodaville says he focused more on his responsibilities as a firefighter and student. He was replaced by the city council's president.


Sept. 5, 2011

A) Unfortunately, a 24-year-old Missouri woman may want to double check the phone number before sending a text. She mistakenly sent a text message to a sheriff offering marijuana for sale. Police took her up on the offer, arranged a meeting and arrested her.

B) A Connecticut man was so upset about the lack of parking enforcement in his town, he parked his car illegally in a handicapped space and called police over a dozen times. When they showed up, he screamed at the officers that they weren't doing their jobs. He was charged with breach of peace and was given a parking ticket.

C) In Florida, someone stole $3,800 worth of merchandise, including a motor bike. Pretty quickly, detectives noticed a big clue -- tire tracks from the bike. They followed the tracks about a half-of-a-mile down the road to an apartment, and sure enough they found their guy.


Aug. 29, 2011

A) A Missouri man is in the doghouse because he tried to rob a bank at gunpoint -- until he realized his wife was standing in the teller line. She refused to get down on the floor and simply told him to "go home." He complied and was arrested shortly after.

B) In Germany, police had no trouble in finding the suspect in a meat shop burglary. A trail of ham pieces led them from the butcher's broken window to the door of his nearby apartment.

C) In Seattle, a store owner was super-gluing a display case to the counter when a crook walked in and demanded cash. The robber put his hand on the counter and super-glued himself. He managed to rip himself away -- but not before leaving his fingerprints behind.

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