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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 4/14/2014, 9:41am  ET

WINNER: A


Sept. 5, 2011

A) Unfortunately, a 24-year-old Missouri woman may want to double check the phone number before sending a text. She mistakenly sent a text message to a sheriff offering marijuana for sale. Police took her up on the offer, arranged a meeting and arrested her.

B) A Connecticut man was so upset about the lack of parking enforcement in his town, he parked his car illegally in a handicapped space and called police over a dozen times. When they showed up, he screamed at the officers that they weren't doing their jobs. He was charged with breach of peace and was given a parking ticket.

C) In Florida, someone stole $3,800 worth of merchandise, including a motor bike. Pretty quickly, detectives noticed a big clue -- tire tracks from the bike. They followed the tracks about a half-of-a-mile down the road to an apartment, and sure enough they found their guy.

WINNER: A


Aug. 29, 2011

A) A Missouri man is in the doghouse because he tried to rob a bank at gunpoint -- until he realized his wife was standing in the teller line. She refused to get down on the floor and simply told him to "go home." He complied and was arrested shortly after.

B) In Germany, police had no trouble in finding the suspect in a meat shop burglary. A trail of ham pieces led them from the butcher's broken window to the door of his nearby apartment.

C) In Seattle, a store owner was super-gluing a display case to the counter when a crook walked in and demanded cash. The robber put his hand on the counter and super-glued himself. He managed to rip himself away -- but not before leaving his fingerprints behind.

WINNER: A


Aug. 22, 2011

A) A man in New Jersey broke into a restaurant and then decided to take a nap on top of a refrigerator. His loud snoring led the police right to him.

B) An Australian man was busted for driving drunk on a motorized beer cooler. Police picked him up as he drove through a beachside resort town. He is also charged with driving without a license.

C) A fugitive was caught kissing his girlfriend on the "Kiss Cam" at Cincinnati's Great American Ball Park. The only problem was, he skipped out on his court date a few months ago -- and his parole officer saw the smooch. He was arrested in his front-row seat.

WINNER: C


Aug. 15, 2011

A) Police were looking for a Michigan man who was suspected of stealing some four- wheelers. They followed the tire tracks and found him sleeping against one of the ATVs. The man took a Valium and didn't know where he was.

B) A couple of train conductors needed to be hospitalized after intentionally smashing their heads against the train window. Apparently, they were bored during a cross country trip in Russia and wanted to see whose forehead was the strongest. They were treated for concussions.

C) In California, a parolee was caught sneaking back into the State Prison. In order to get inside, he climbed a 7-foot tall barbed wire fence. Police are investigating whether he was trying to smuggle in drugs or cell phones into the jail.

WINNER: B


Aug. 8, 2011

A) A college student gets his laptop stolen, but has the last laugh after he tracks down the thief using software installed on the computer. He finds the thief's information, as well as an embarrassing video of him dancing, which he posted on YouTube. The thief apologized and returned the laptop.

B) A wanted man in New York taunted police by posting his location and "catch me if you can" on Facebook. So, U.S. Marshals tracked him down and arrested him like he asked.

C) A Swedish man tried to build a nuclear reactor in his kitchen and documented it on the Internet. Police arrested the man and confiscated the materials.

WINNER: B


Aug. 1, 2011

A) A Florida man wanted $100 worth of marijuana, but what he got instead was hamburger meat. So he decided to shoot at the drug dealer's car as it drove away. He was arrested shortly after.

B) In Louisiana, a 28-year-old father drank one too many, so he let his 8-year-old son take the wheel. The boy drove more than 100 miles on the interstate before the police caught up to them.

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