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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 4/14/2014, 9:41am  ET

B) A Boston subway dispatcher wanted to spread some holiday cheer, so he used the electronic message board to post the lyrics to "Deck the Halls" instead of the regular service announcements. Transportation officials were not amused.

C) He ran an illegal cockfighting business, but this Florida man was busted after police saw him picking up a live rooster from the post office. He already had 89 caged roosters in his backyard.

Winner: C

Dec. 26, 2011

A) A Florida man went to a bar, had a few, and left to rob a Wells Fargo bank. Then, he came back to the bar and had a few drinks until the cops arrived. The bartender says he was gone for about 30 minutes.

B) Four Pittsburgh teens accused of taking cash, candy, and cigarettes from a convenience store posted pictures of themselves and their haul on Facebook a few minutes later. That made it quite easy for detectives.

C) A Nebraska man came to court drunk to receive a sentence for DWI. He was four times over the legal limit. The new charge will be added to the three previous DWI charges.

Winner: C

Dec. 19, 2011

A) Two Wisconsin men stole some DVDs and computer games from a Target. Unfortunately for them, one of the shop-lifters pocket dialed 911 while they rehashed their crime. Police tracked them down and they now face charges.

B) A Pennsylvania man who faked the death of his mother to get time off of work. The man submitted an obituary for his mother to a local newspaper. Relatives saw it in the paper and called to say she was alive. Police say the man wanted to get off work without losing his job.

C) A Spotsylvania County woman who grabbed a Baby Jesus figure from a local shopping center. Only problem is she uploaded a photo of the stolen figure on her facebook page. Police were tipped off and Baby Jesus has been returned.

Winner: C

Dec. 12, 2011

A) A Waldorf, Maryland man picked the wrong day to shoplift from a local Walmart. There were more than 50 police officers in the store due to a community program called "Shop with a Cop." Police caught the man while he tried to make his getaway and arrested him.

B) Two Florida women decorated their house with Christmas lights they stole from a home only a block away. The neighbor recognized her decorations and called police. The women face theft charges.

C) An Illinois man who tried to carjack a driver, only problem is the driver is a mixed-martial arts fighter. The carjacker forced the driver from the car. The driver then turned around and beat up the carjacker, pinning him to the ground until authorities arrived.

Winner: B

Dec. 5, 2011

A) Texas bank robbers bragged on Facebook about their heist. The female burglar posted "I'm Rich" on her boyfriends wall. Investigators were tipped off about the messages and arrested the bank robbers.

B) A Pennsylvania woman robbed a Burger King and hours later called the same Burger King to ask if anyone caught her license plate. The problem: she used her own cell phone to make the call. The restaurant called police, who used phone records to find the woman.

C) A German man who tried to rob a bank with a toy gun, only problem is the bank had been closed for years. Instead, he robbed a woman on the street and fled the scene in a stolen car. Police found the car and tracked him down after lifting his fingerprints from the toy gun he left in the backseat.

Winner: B

Nov. 28, 2011

A) A Chicago man broke into Chicago White Sox general manager Kenny Williams' house while he was out of town and made himself at home.

The man put on William' clothes, his 2005 World Series Ring, drank beer and defrosted a lobster in the GM's home.

The man also left behind a hospital bracelet with his name on it. Police later found him still wearing the borrowed clothes.

B) Coast Guard officials in Florida received a call to help a man who ran out of gas in his boat.

When Coast Guard went to help they realized the boat had actually been reported stolen, they reached the stranded man and charged him with grand theft.

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