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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 9/1/2014, 5:33am  ET

Winner: A


June 18, 2012

A) A New York man thought he was sleeping on his friends couch when police woke him, but turns out he was about 20 miles off. The homeowner who found him couldn't wake him up and called police. He was charged with trespassing.

B) A Connecticut man ordered 14 sandwiches but wasn't happy with the food so he used the deli's phone to call 911 and complain. No charges have been filed but the man called the deli back to apologize.

C) In Pennsylvania, a man thought he could get away with setting an apartment on fire by saying it was his dog who started it. But police didn't buy it and now the man is facing arson charges.

Winner: C


June 11, 2012

A) She was banned from her boyfriend's apartment but that didn't keep one Oregon woman from seeing her man. He was able to sneak her in by hiding her in a big suitcase. Someone saw the whole thing and called the police. She was arrested for trespassing.

B) Apparently, you can never have enough toothpicks. Someone stole 400,000 of them from a manufacturer in Georgia. The loot is worth about $3,000. They're still looking for the criminal, but police might have a lead. A man was seen selling containers of them at a local flea market.

C) Their first mistake was trying to burglarize a police cruiser. Their second was leaving the emergency lights on. The two North Carolina men tried to flee in their getaway car but police quickly caught and arrested them.

Winner: C


June 4, 2012


A) A Connecticut teenager set off a fire alarm in his high school's locker room because he put on too much body spray. It created a cloud of mist below the sensor and tripped the alarm. Students had to evacuate the school.

B) A Chicago man wearing a wig didn't get very far when he tried to rob a bank this weekend. He stuffed $100,000 into a backpack and tried to escape through the ceiling air ducts, but he got stuck. Police found him the next morning and had to cut him out.

C) Who steals from the Little League snack bar? One man, two women and a girl were arrested in California for doing just that. Police tracked them down by following a trail of cookie, chip and Cheetos bags. They were found two blocks away.

Winner: B


May 21, 2012

A) Facebook not only keeps you connected,it fights crimes. Two men went into an internet café, used the computers, logged into Facebook and decided to rob the cafe afterwards. They made a clean getaway, but were caught when police discovered they hadn't logged out of their accounts.

B) Be careful what you wish for. A New York man asked his neighbor to shoot him in the leg because he wanted to know what it felt like. His wish came true. The neighbor shot him once in the leg with a .22-caliber rifle and was charged with reckless endangerment. The man is expected to make a full recovery.

C) A Pennsylvania man left a bag behind at a local Giant grocery store. But that wasn't the problem, it's what they found inside, marijuana and hallucinogenic mushrooms. He called the store to see if the bag was found and they told him to go to the police to pick it up, which he did. He was taken into custody.

Winner: C


May 14, 2012

A) An elementary school in Fort Worth, Texas is getting an "F" for adding an extra "I" to the spelling of its name. The spelling error went unnoticed for nine years, according to Yahoo.com. The schools name is Sunrise McMillan but was spelled McMillian until someone finally pointed out the extra "I."

B) "Hot Dog Hooker," need we say more? A woman was offering stripteases from her hot dog truck but served up the wrong dish to an undercover cop according to C- News. She was charged with prostitution.

C) Police in Canada nabbed a thief who broke into an off-duty officer's car and left his cellphone behind, according to C-News.com. They were able to find and arrest the man, who already had a warrant out for his arrest.

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