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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 4/14/2014, 9:41am  ET

Winner: C

July 16, 2012

A) A Russian man broke into a home and tried to rob it, but he didn't get very far. Moscow police found him sprawled out on the homeowner's bed curled up next to a vodka bottle fast asleep.

B) A Dallas man decided to make a grand entrance when he crashed his pickup truck into a mall -- naked! After getting out of the truck, he walked over to a sporting goods store and started trying clothes on, including a pair of Air Jordans. No one was hurt except maybe his pride. He was arrested.

C) A New York man walked into a drugstore and tried to rob the pharmacy wearing a "Mr. T" mask. But this wasn't the first time he went incognito. He robbed the same pharmacy last week disguised as "Mike Tyson"! Police are investigating whether he's connected to another robbery by a "Richard Nixon."

Winner: B

July 09, 2012

A) A man broke into a Subway restaurant and stole nine bags of potato chips. He may have gotten away with it if it weren't for the trail of empty bags that lead police straight to him. Now he's being held on bail.

B) A would-be robber found him self between a rock and a hard place -- literally. He propped up a garage door and started to crawl inside when his head got stuck underneath the door -- for NINE hours! A manager found him in the morning and called police. He tried to say he was fixing the door.

C) A Pennsylvania man skipped town to avoid paying his child support but was lured back with the promise of a bogus role in a Jennifer Aniston movie. He hopped the next flight and was greeted by police after he landed.

Winner: C

June 25, 2012

A) A Pennsylvania man spent the last nine years building a two-seat airplane inside his basement. But once it was finished, he couldn't get it out! He had to knock down a wall and pull it out with a truck. His neighbors had no idea until they saw a banner in his front yard that read, "Airplane Removal Wednesday."

B) A Maryland man found himself on the wrong side of the law when he tried to impersonate a police officer. He might have gotten away with it had he not pulled over a real off-duty cop. He was arrested.

C) A Massachusetts woman crashed her car into a golf course and blamed it on the GPS! She said it instructed her to turn left so she drove through a cornfield and into a sand trap. She was arrested for DUI and driving with a suspended license.

Winner: A

June 18, 2012

A) A New York man thought he was sleeping on his friends couch when police woke him, but turns out he was about 20 miles off. The homeowner who found him couldn't wake him up and called police. He was charged with trespassing.

B) A Connecticut man ordered 14 sandwiches but wasn't happy with the food so he used the deli's phone to call 911 and complain. No charges have been filed but the man called the deli back to apologize.

C) In Pennsylvania, a man thought he could get away with setting an apartment on fire by saying it was his dog who started it. But police didn't buy it and now the man is facing arson charges.

Winner: C

June 11, 2012

A) She was banned from her boyfriend's apartment but that didn't keep one Oregon woman from seeing her man. He was able to sneak her in by hiding her in a big suitcase. Someone saw the whole thing and called the police. She was arrested for trespassing.

B) Apparently, you can never have enough toothpicks. Someone stole 400,000 of them from a manufacturer in Georgia. The loot is worth about $3,000. They're still looking for the criminal, but police might have a lead. A man was seen selling containers of them at a local flea market.

C) Their first mistake was trying to burglarize a police cruiser. Their second was leaving the emergency lights on. The two North Carolina men tried to flee in their getaway car but police quickly caught and arrested them.

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