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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 7/28/2014, 9:43am  ET

B) Two Oregon burglars who took an orange juice break before they drove off, and left the juice carton in the garage covered with their DNA, which was in the FBI database. One of the crooks is in jail, and the police are still working on charges against the other.

C) They say idle hands are the devil's playground. A "bored" Indiana woman who tried to play a trick on her boyfriend, and ended up in the slammer. The 19-year- old told him her job was being robbed. He called police, but when they showed up, nothing was wrong. She was arrested for filing a false report.

Winner: A


April 8, 2013

A) A Pennsylvania man who tried to pay for his cab fare with weed. The man was short on cash so he tried to slide the driver a bag of marijuana to cover the moneys he owed. The cabbie reported him to two cops that were standing nearby.

B) A DC man who tried to rob 2 banks that were 3 blocks apart, but the tellers couldn't understand what he was asking because his notes were so confusing. The first teller sent him away. The second figured out he was trying to rob her and called the cops.

C) A New York man who kept sneaking INTO jail. The 36-year-old used phony info to get into jail because he thought the people there were "nice." He could end up getting locked up for ten years for felony burglary.

Winner: B


April 1, 2013

A) Three Virginia teens who smashed jugs of milk at grocery stores, then posted video of it on YouTube. The kids made a huge mess, and are now in a huge mess, each charged with 7 counts of disorderly conduct and 7 counts of destruction of property.

B) A California thief who put his mask on in front of a store's security camera. The crook tried to break the glass door, but spooked himself and ran. He then tripped over the curb and fell on his face in the parking lot.

C) An Easter Bunny who forgot to wear his helmet. The bunny rode his motorcycle down the highway, until a police officer pulled him over. The bunny hopped away with just a warning.

Winner: B


March 25, 2013

A) A Florida man who stole an air conditioner to pay a shoplifting debt. The 18 year old was pushing the unit in a wheelbarrow and got stopped by a cop. He told the cop he was selling it for scrap to pay the 200 dollars he owed Wal-Mart for stealing.

B) Two California thieves who stole a machine from Hooters that turned out to be a JUKEBOX. The thieves probably thought it was an ATM. But they won't be getting any cash, except maybe Johnny Cash.

C) A woman who beat her husband because he wouldn't play mini golf with her. The couple was planning a fun evening, but when the husband changed his mind. The wife got violent. She was beating him up when a cop saw. She ended up spending the night in jail.

Winner: A


March 18, 2013

A) A Pennsylvania man who tried to remove his wedding ring by shooting his finger. The 31-year-old had gotten in a fight with his wife and had a little too much to drink. His finger, and the ring, are still on his body. He's being charged for shooting himself.

B) A United Airlines baggage handler who put a dog on a flight to Ireland, when he was supposed to be going to Phoenix. The pup was eventually returned to his owner, who was given a full refund.

C) A shipyard worker who set fire to a submarine because he wanted to go home. The 25-year-old caused over 400 million dollars in damage with the blaze, which he'll have to repay. He's also sentenced to about 17 years in prison.

Winner: C


March 11, 2013

A) A Colorado waitress who had her license stolen a month ago finally got it back, after carding a female patron at the restaurant she works at. After the customer showed the stolen driver's license, the waitress kept her cool and called the police. Turns out, the patron had been using the license to write bad checks and was also selling drugs. She is now facing identity theft charges.

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