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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 8/18/2014, 9:34am  ET

C) A Georgia woman who stole a bible from a bookstore. The 23-year-old tried to walk out of a Barnes and Noble with the book, but got caught. She was arrested and had to put up over a thousand dollar for bail.

Winner: B

April 29, 2013

A) A Nevada man who drove his car through a church after the pastor wouldn't speak to him. The 51-year-old drove through an entrance and down a hallway. He's being charged with burglary and destruction of property.

B) A Kansas man who called for police protection from the prostitute he couldn't pay. He had confessed he couldn't pay the four hundred dollars he owed her after spending two hours with her. He called police and was charged with patronizing a prostitute.

C) A man from India who sold his newborn grandson. The man was reportedly unhappy that his daughter had gotten a divorce and he wanted to arrange a new marriage for her. He thought it would be easier if she didn't have a child from her first husband. The baby had been sold on FACEBOOK before the scheme was uncovered. The child was reunited with his mother. All involved in the sale have been arrested.

Winner: B

April 22, 2013

A) A New Jersey man who tried to steal a car, but couldn't drive it! The 18-year- old held up the owner of a Porsche at gunpoint, then tried to drive away. But he couldn't drive a stick-shift. Police got him as he ran away.

B) An Ohio man who stole a grill, and left a trail of charcoal right to his house. Police found the thief taking apart the grill. The man said he found the grill in an alley. When cops didn't believe him, he blamed a homeless man.

C) Movie star Reese Witherspoon who was arrested after verbally harassing a police officer when her husband was pulled over for driving drunk. She asked police if they knew who she was and told them they couldn't tell her to stay in the car because she's a U.S. citizen on American soil. She has since apologized to police.

Winner: A

April 15, 2013

A) Three Wyoming men who stole a samurai sword, then left a trail of footprints to their getaway house. Police followed the prints from one home to the other, And found the thieves digging through a bunch of stolen goods.

B) Two Oregon burglars who took an orange juice break before they drove off, and left the juice carton in the garage covered with their DNA, which was in the FBI database. One of the crooks is in jail, and the police are still working on charges against the other.

C) They say idle hands are the devil's playground. A "bored" Indiana woman who tried to play a trick on her boyfriend, and ended up in the slammer. The 19-year- old told him her job was being robbed. He called police, but when they showed up, nothing was wrong. She was arrested for filing a false report.

Winner: A

April 8, 2013

A) A Pennsylvania man who tried to pay for his cab fare with weed. The man was short on cash so he tried to slide the driver a bag of marijuana to cover the moneys he owed. The cabbie reported him to two cops that were standing nearby.

B) A DC man who tried to rob 2 banks that were 3 blocks apart, but the tellers couldn't understand what he was asking because his notes were so confusing. The first teller sent him away. The second figured out he was trying to rob her and called the cops.

C) A New York man who kept sneaking INTO jail. The 36-year-old used phony info to get into jail because he thought the people there were "nice." He could end up getting locked up for ten years for felony burglary.

Winner: B

April 1, 2013

A) Three Virginia teens who smashed jugs of milk at grocery stores, then posted video of it on YouTube. The kids made a huge mess, and are now in a huge mess, each charged with 7 counts of disorderly conduct and 7 counts of destruction of property.

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