AP Legal Affairs Writer
BOSTON (AP) -- Supporters and activists routinely ask gay couples to meet with reluctant lawmakers to put a human face on same-sex marriage. They file lawsuits. They use unexpected allies -- in some cases, churches -- to spread their message.
It's a strategy that has shown results, with state bans falling in courts at a brisk clip, most recently this week in Idaho. And it was one that was first tried in Massachusetts, where 10 years ago Saturday, gay couples became the first in the nation to legally tie the knot.
"We've really used a spirit of relentlessness," says Marc Solomon, the national campaign director for Freedom to Marry. "That's the way we've approached this entire movement from the get-go in Massachusetts and around the country."
Seventeen states and the District of Columbia have legalized same-sex marriage. Judges in seven other states have struck down bans on gay marriage, though officials are appealing. In one of those states, Arkansas, more than 400 same-sex weddings have taken place in the past week amid uncertainty over the scope of the ruling.
Opposition remains stiff in many places, and critics point out that most states still do not allow gay marriage and that in most of those that do, it was the work of courts or legislatures, not the will of the people. Only Washington, Maryland and Maine have approved gay marriage through a public vote.
As supporters have racked up victories, opponents have shifted their tactics. They still argue that gay marriage will damage the traditional institution, but they've intensified their arguments on religious freedom and states' rights.
"I think the notion that it is a freight train of momentum has been greatly exaggerated and is just not true," says John Eastman, chairman of the National Organization for Marriage.
What is undeniable, though, is a change in public attitudes.
Recent polls show that a majority of Americans support same-sex marriage; in 2004, only about 30 percent favored it. The U.S. Supreme Court last year struck down a key part of a federal law defining marriage as between a man and a woman.
Forty percent of Americans now live in states where gay people can marry, compared with zero back then -- though some jurisdictions did and continue to offer civil unions or domestic partnerships that provide some of the legal and financial benefits of marriage.
"What's really interesting here in Massachusetts is that it has really become no big deal," says Robyn Ochs, who married Peg Preble the day same-sex marriage became legal. "When we were fighting to protect marriage equality in Massachusetts, there were all these predictions of doom and destruction, and terrible things would happen. You know, when we got married on May 17, 2004, on May 18, the buses still ran, children still had to go to school and the grocery stores still had food on the shelves."
Preble chimes in: "The sky didn't fall."
Here's how it unfolded:
The legal group Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders sued the Massachusetts Department of Health on behalf of seven same-sex couples who were denied marriage licenses in 2001.
The Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruled in November 2003 that barring same-sex couples from marrying violated the state constitution. Weddings began six months later.
Opponents tried to overturn the ruling through a state constitutional amendment. The effort failed after intense lobbying by same-sex marriage supporters, who asked gay couples to meet with their lawmakers and talk about what their marriages meant to them.
Solomon, a leader of the campaign in Massachusetts, and several other veterans of that drive have been working in other states since then.
They've worked to build support among lawmakers, oust others, and recruit business leaders and other prominent people to their side. In Indiana, executives of pharmaceutical company Eli Lilly and engine maker Cummins have argued against a proposed ban, saying it could hinder worker recruitment.
In Idaho, a federal judge struck down the state's ban Tuesday, ruling on a lawsuit brought by two couples legally married in other states and two who were denied marriage licenses in Idaho. Weddings could begin as soon as Friday.
Meanwhile, opponents in Virginia, Indiana, Texas, Utah and many other states are fighting to maintain bans. Lawsuits are pending in about 30 states where gay couples can't marry.
At least one Southern activist is applying lessons learned in Massachusetts.
The Rev. Jasmine Beach-Ferrara says that while she was attending divinity school in Boston from 2007 to 2010, she met with advocates to develop a blueprint for the Campaign for Southern Equality, of which she is now the executive director.