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McDonnell juror: 'I was trying not to cry'

Friday - 9/5/2014, 11:56am  ET

Bob McDonnell (Getty)
Bob McDonnell is seen here returning to the courtroom before the verdict is read. (Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images)
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See videos from outside the courthouse after the verdict was read below.

WASHINGTON -- It was an unprecedented fall from grace in Virginia as the former first couple heard their fates read aloud.

Bob McDonnell, his wife Maureen and their family members wept openly as the guilty verdicts came down, and seeing this devastated family was a profoundly painful moment, according to one of the 12 jurors.

"It was awful, it was excruciating as a juror for me," says Kathleen Carmody. "It was just torturous."

Carmody says she believes the evidence given by the prosecution was compelling and, eventually, insurmountable.

Still, she says she felt extraordinary pressure as the trial stretched from days into weeks.

According to Carmody, she had many sleepless nights, tossing and turning with periodic "anxiety dreams" about the trial.

As emotions weighed heavily on her mind, Carmody says, all she wanted to do was return a fair verdict.

"I was trying not to cry," Carmody says, describing the final moments of the trial.

When Carmody left the courtroom for the last time, she had a lump in her throat.

Then, she broke down.

"I got to my car and cried.

"I do believe the verdict was true, but as a compassionate person I feel for them," she says.

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